I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
