Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Randomize