I can't watch pbs sober anymore
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I need moral support for this bender
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
