Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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