I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
