i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
