It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
