You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
