you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
