I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
