He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
