She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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