I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize