i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
