We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
