Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
