Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
