It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
