So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
