He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
