he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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