Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize