the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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