Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
