I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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