What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
