i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
