You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
