yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
