you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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