I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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