just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
