Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
