He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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