so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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