I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
