Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
