is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize