I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
