I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
