Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
