i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
