Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
