Just cropdusted the office
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My dick has a subreddit
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
