So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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