Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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