I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
