In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
