GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
