How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize