I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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