I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
