and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize