ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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