Porn is love you can see.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Still dying that you shit outside
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize