32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Text me some of your sweat
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
