I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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