No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
