I hate your face
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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