Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize